


Something About Maud

by CeleritasSagittae



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleritasSagittae/pseuds/CeleritasSagittae
Summary: How did I come to be here?  Well, that’s quite a long story and I’m certain you don’t want to hear it all, ma’am, but if it’s important as you say it is, I suppose I’ll try my best.You see, her Majesty knows best, but I don’t think I ever did anything to give the impression that I was one ofthoseelves.  Why, I wouldn’t have even spoken to His Majesty if he hadn’t told me to, and as for the rest—well, it was just something about Maud, you see, that made me do it.





	Something About Maud

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains allusions to physically and emotionally abusive relationships.
> 
> Please proceed with caution if you need to, and queue up a good fluff chaser.

How did I come to be here?  Well, that’s quite a long story and I’m certain you don’t want to hear it all, ma’am, but if it’s important as you say it is, I suppose I’ll try my best.  Where did you want me to start?  The  _beginning_?  Well, I said I’d try, didn’t I?

I was born in the alienage during the occupation, ma’am, long enough ago to remember how it was, though I will say I’ve aged better than most of them’s my age.  But I know how the younger folk get, especially those born after, and I swear on Andraste’s ashes I was never one of  _those_  elves, not even under Orlais.  I’ve always worked hard, and kept my head down, and I know we’re fortunate to be under the good king and queen, Maker save them.  And, well, Her Majesty knows best, but I don’t  _think_  I ever did anything to give the impression that I  _was_  one of those elves.  I always stayed inside when Shianni or another one of her termagant mixers started a riot, even this last one, and I’ve always cooperated with the guards when they restored order after.  Why, I wouldn’t have even spoken to His Majesty if he hadn’t told me to, and as for the rest—well, it was just something about Maud, you see, that made me do it.

My situation?  Of course, there I go, getting ahead of myself again.  I started working for the palace when I was twelve, as a scullery maid.  I worked my way up through the years, through the laundry, and then into general housekeeping.  I never was a lady’s maid, though I looked after Cara when she was a little one—she’s Her Majesty’s maid, ma’am, since of course all her staff were killed when her family’s castle was attacked all those years ago, and what a tragedy that was, too—and I would help her—Cara, that is—with the royal chambers from time to time.  Then, once Her Majesty started requiring Cara’s presence more often, I was asked to look after them by myself, and that’s what I’ve done ever since.  Well, up until I was relieved of my position, of course.

And before you get the wrong impression, ma’am, it wasn’t for anything like  _that_.  A king’s allowed his indiscretions, I know, but if you took one look at His Majesty and Her Majesty together, you’d see there’s no room in his heart for it.  And even if there were—well, if half the tales they tell about Her Majesty are true, I don’t fancy he’d let his eyes wander anyhow.  Never did see a body as devoted to his wife as he—except perhaps Maud, Maker rest her soul, but the two cases have nothing in common, I’m sure!  Still, there was  _something_ , I think, in his eyes, that reminded me of her.

It was just after I’d started managing the royal chambers on my own, when I first caught it, and I was so tired from minding the twins that I didn’t even know His Majesty was there!   Why, if I had, I’d have turned and waited to do the dusting until he was gone, but I didn’t, so there I was, going over the bureau and the curios on the shelf tucked away in the corner.

I was lifting one of them, I recall, when his voice comes from the other side of the room.  I don’t even remember what it was he said, but I jumped and I must’ve nearly dropped the thing, because before I knew it, he’s coming over to check the thing for damage.  I drop into a curtsey and apologize, say I didn’t know he was there and I’ll just be leaving now, but he says he doesn’t mind, and to carry on, but be careful with the figurines.

“They’re a gift from my wife,” he says, and his eyes lit up in the sweetest way.  “Silly, I know, but—well, they’re from  _her_.”

“As you say, your Majesty,” I says, and I go about my work again.

Oh, but Maud’s eyes used to light up just as sweetly, even when they were wet with tears, when she talked about her husband!  At least, I think they were married—it was so many years ago, now, you understand…  And I don’t know why I keep thinking there was a similarity anyhow, for Her Majesty is a good woman, after all.

But you wanted to know what happened, didn’t you?  Well, I don’t rightly know, honestly, how it happened, but after a few more times of coming in to clean while His Majesty was within, and him telling me he didn’t mind my working while he was there, things settled into a sort of routine.  I don’t know what kings normally do in their spare time, but he was very quiet, usually reading some book or another, until one time I found him with those figurines on his desk, playing at knights and dragons like a lad of ten!  The moment he heard me, though, he swept them off the desk into his lap, red as a beet, though I’m sure he needn’t have—the King can do whatever he wants, can’t he?  But he apologizes—His Majesty, apologizing to  _me_!—and gets up to put them away!

“I can do that for you, your Majesty,” I says.  “Assuming you’re finished, of course.”

“No, no, I don’t mind,” he says, and begins setting them up on the shelf tucked away in the corner.  “I hadn’t got them out in a while, that’s all,” he says.  “Elissa says it’s silly that I still— _look_  at them, from time to time, but—they’re very dear to me.  She gave them to me, after all.”  He goes back to his desk for a few moments, then says, “Do you mind if—if I talk to you for a bit, while you work?”

A very strange thing to say, for sure, and if I hadn’t seen how he looks at the Queen I’d wonder if he was trying to start anything, but since I had, I didn’t know what he was going on about.

“I won’t trouble you,” he adds, as if His Majesty could trouble any of his staff.  “I could just use the company, that’s all.”

“As you like, your Majesty,” I says, and the rest of the time he starts telling me stories, about where he grew up, and how he doesn’t really get on with the nobles, and how fortunate he is to be married to a woman who understands all this “kinging” business, as he calls it.  And after that, sometimes, if he’s there when I’m cleaning, he talks to me again, though I’m sure I never said much in response, certainly nothing seditious.

I did ask him a question, once, though—though I didn’t mean any harm by it, and he seemed glad enough to answer it.  I think he was telling me some tale about the Wardens of old, and how glad he’d been when he’d been recruited, and the words came out of me before I could think: “Are you happy, your Majesty?”

Oh, it was  _such_  an impertinent question, but he didn’t even bat an eye!  He just smiled, broad and golden, and said, “I’ve never been happier.”

But his eyes, oh!  His eyes were like Maud’s, though I’m certain they can’t be.

You must know I didn’t understand at the time why the hahrens arranged our marriages at the alienage.  It seemed, the way it does when you’re young, to be better to do things the way the shemlen do—to love, before you’re married.  I thought that your heart and your head sang in harmony all the time, and what was good for one was good for both.  Maud was the only human in our group of washers, and she’d married for love, so of course the rest of us were curious little gossips about her man.  Was he strong, was he handsome?  What made her fall for him?

She didn’t say much about him, though, try as we did.  “He needs me,” she said.  “He loves me, and he is a good man.”  And what more needed to be said than that, really?

His Majesty was very fortunate that he got to marry for love, you know.  He told me that often.

But Maud kept things close to her chest, Maker rest her soul.

I reckon I learned a lot of things about His Majesty in those months, things I hope you’ll understand if I don’t pass on.  Not that I don’t trust the Maker’s servants, of course!  But he said that Her Majesty had told him things would go worse for them if they got out, and I won’t betray their confidences, not even for gold.  He… said I was a good listener, once, though I’d hardly spoke five words to him, and that I reminded him of one of the people they’d lost during the Blight.

“How did she die?” I asked him, then, before I could stop myself.

“She didn’t understand what Elissa had to do,” he said, and that was all he said on the matter.

Her Majesty came in, one day, while he was telling me about her, and Maker forgive me, I’d forgot my station enough that it took a full five seconds before I remembered to curtsey in front of her.

She paid me little mind, though, for which I was quite grateful, and turns instead to the king, and says gently, “Alistair, have you been talking to the help again?”

“A little,” he says, and I imagine he might have gone a little pink at the ears but my eyes were trained on the floor, as they should be, so I don’t really know.

“Did it never occur to you she might not appreciate the distraction?” she says.

“She didn’t say anything,” says he.

“Of course she didn’t!” says Her Majesty.  “You’re the king; an elvish housekeeper can hardly say  _no_  to you.”

He started to protest again, but she cut him off quick.

“I know why you’d think she’d want to listen to you, but it’s as I told you—everyone’s out for themselves.  Everyone but you.  That’s what makes you such a good king.”

“ _And_  you,” he says.  “You always look out for me.”

“Of course I do, you silly man,” says she.  “You know I’d be devastated without you,” and at that point I could see where things were going, so I left the room quick. But the next time His Majesty was in the room as I cleaned, he didn’t say a word to me.

You know, Cara told me once, about the nightmares, and how Her Majesty would wake her in the middle of the night and slip out to His Majesty’s bed.  In her defense we  _had_  been making a little merry, for it was Feastday, but I silenced her before she could say anything else.  That sort of gossip gets round the palace right quick, but there’s no profit in paying attention to it and plenty in ignoring it entirely.  It’s much safer to talk about the other servants, which is probably why we elven washers talked about Maud so much.

Fallan, Maker bless her, was the first to notice.  We always used to say that since she had such a dull husband she imagined nobody else’s were, but maybe she was just sharper than the rest of us.  It’s simple enough to get bruises in our line of work, especially when you’re a laundress or a sculler, after all.  But Maud never seemed terribly clumsy, and she always liked to pretend they weren’t there when she rolled up her sleeves.  So, for the longest time, I did, too.  It was easier that way.

His Majesty did talk to me eventually, you know.  I think he must have been bored or something, poor man.  I’d caught him playing at knights and dragons again by then, after all, and he didn’t bother hiding them as long as I ignored him.

But this time he wanted to talk, so he says to me, “Is it true you can’t say no to me?”

Anyone could tell you you really can’t say anything to that, so I didn’t.

“I mean,” he adds, “obviously you can’t, even  _I_  know that, but—I thought that maybe,” he says, and then he just trails off like he’d said nothing.

I have to gather my thoughts for some time, but eventually I say, “I will happily listen to his Majesty whenever he wishes to talk.”

And he nods at that, and that’s all we say.  He doesn’t look any happier when I leave the room, though, and he still doesn’t speak to me for months afterwards—not till the dead of winter, when you wake cold enough to find your water-jug frozen over.  The palace is warmer, of course, even in the servants’ quarters, but try thrusting frostbitten hands in a steaming washbasin, and you’ll see why winter’s such a trying time!

I’ve worked in the palace long enough that I know the tricks of these things, so I got myself to the dusting as soon as the shivering stopped.  I’m afraid my nose must have still been red, though, because His Majesty still noticed, somehow.

“Are the servant’s quarters drafty?” he says.  “I could probably speak to the chatelaine…”

“I wouldn’t know, Your Majesty,” I says.  “I moved back to the alienage when I married, and I’ve stayed there ever since.  ‘Twas only the walk to the palace that chilled me.”

“You’re married?” he says.

“ _Was_  married, your Majesty,” I says.  “My Evan died these twenty-eight years ago, Maker rest his soul.”

“Then,” says he, “why haven’t you moved back, if you don’t mind my asking?  I’m sure you can handle the cold and the wet, but,” and he just trails off like that, expecting an answer.

“Well,” I says, “I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, Your Majesty, but if I were to stay in the palace, why, there’d be no one to look after the twins!  Maybe, when they’re old enough to go into service themselves, assuming they’re good for it, which, if I have any say in the matter, they will be.”

“Your grandchildren?” he says, and I do still  _wonder_  at him being so interested, what with me being a servant and an elf to boot, but he clearly wanted me to talk, so I kept talking.

“No, bless you,” I says, “I never did bear a child.  I took them in when their father died in the purge a few years back.”

He frowns at that, and asks after their mother, so I tell him how she died in the plague during the Blight, so you see  _someone_  must look after them, for they haven’t anyone else.  And he doesn’t say anything else, except that he’s sorry, and the king really  _does_  like to chat, so I remember it was odd.

A week later I had to put off my cleaning when I heard him and Her Majesty talking on the other side of the door—something about the Imperium, and not having enough money.  I was only passing by, just long enough to hear snatches, because it isn’t my place to know what the king and queen talk about.  But when I saw him next he apologized again, for the orphaned twins, and I’m still not sure why he did.  Not his fault a plague took one, and if that harridan Shianni hadn’t started another riot the purge wouldn’t have taken the other.  And then he started asking me questions—simple things, mostly, about my life growing up, about the palace and the alienage now.

“Didn’t Her Majesty say that you shouldn’t talk to the help?”

“Well, yes,” says His Majesty.  “But… I think it was more in the sense of socializing, since… well, since I’m not a commoner any longer.  But a king should know his subjects, shouldn’t he?”

And there was nothing more to say to that, so I said, “As you say, your Majesty,” and I told him whatever he asked for, same as I’m telling you now—though I never did tell him about Maud.

None of us understood it, truly.  She was  _human_ , she could arm herself, and if she had to leave, she  _could_!  How difficult could it be to leave a man?  So of course, he couldn’t be cruel, for if he were, wouldn’t she have left him?

“He  _is_  a good man,” I remember Maud telling me.  “Someone just needs to remind him that he is, and I’m the only one who can do that.”

The twins took cold not long after that, and I had to send word to the palace that I couldn’t come in, not unless they wanted me spreading it to the rest of the staff.  It’s a tiresome thing, caring for two sick children and then falling ill yourself, but it was still less toil than working at the palace and coming home to the twins, so I found myself dwelling on His Majesty and why he asked so many questions of me, and how I could remind him of someone when all I’d done was hear what he had to say.

Oh, but when I got back to the palace, it was to such a sight!  One of the younger girls—a shem, I think, though I didn’t recall her name, had been caught at thieving—from the royal chambers, no less!  I felt right guilty about taking ill then, for if I’d been there I might have been able to keep the whole thing from happening.  The girl was whipped, of course, in front of all of us, and sent on her way, and she didn’t even have the dignity to admit she’d done it! Still, I was careful, after that, to check my things as I left the palace, just in case something had fallen in by accident.

I wondered what had been taken, of course, but as it turned out I didn’t even need to ask.  His Majesty was sitting at his desk, and one of his little figurines—the golem one, I believe—was standing guard over his papers. “I lost it a week ago,” he says, “but Elissa found it for me.  Maker, she’s so clever—I wouldn’t have even known where to start looking.”  And then he started asking me more questions—how ill was I, how ill were the twins, did this sort of thing happen very often, and the like.  I swear I didn’t make it out to be worse than what it was, ma’am, and we’re all so very used to managing, that I’m certain he couldn’t have gotten the wrong impression.

Still, I wonder, if he’d have let me say nothing—if, maybe, things would have gone differently then. It’s the same way I wonder about Maud, I reckon.

We finally did agree we had to say something, together, we washerwomen, when she came in one day with a black eye.  We couldn’t go to the guards ourselves, certainly, for no one would take stock in the word of elves, but maybe, _maybe_ we could get her to go.  Surely the guard would listen to a shemlen woman in distress.

But Maud just sat there, shaking her head, weeping into the washbasin.  “If they gaol him,” she says, “I won’t be able to help him.  He _needs_ me!  And Andraste as my witness, I love him!  How could I leave him now?”

And that was the first time I was grateful that my Evan had been picked for me, by them as knew his character.

“He didn’t mean to do it,” Maud goes on, “but something set him off.  If he hadn’t had such a hard day, if he hadn’t needed to drink—”

“Maud,” Fallan says gently, “there’s sooth in spirits.”

“He loves me,” she says, to that.  “And I won’t prove faithless,” and there was no swaying her, so we let it go.  But I wonder, if we hadn’t—or if we’d talked to her about it earlier—if we could have gotten her to save herself.  But there were other things to worry about—food on the table, cold, the grippe, and I let myself forget about it, until it was far too late.

We had two more waves of illness take the alienage that winter, and by the second one that mixer Shianni was drumming up outrage, that we’d received no aid from the arl or the crown, that we’d had to do all our own rebuilding after the Blight and it still wasn’t half done yet, and I knew, I just _knew_ she’d call down twice the trouble she was stirring up.  So I said nothing, and when the mob formed I barred the door and told the twins that this rabble is what awaited them if they couldn’t get into the service of a good lord or lady.  And once the guards came in and took some of them away, I went back to the palace, as I always do.  The chatelaine understands, at least—she’d rather have a hard worker stay home a few days than have to train up someone new.

Andraste as my witness, I didn’t mean to overhear them, and I never breathed a word of it to a soul, but Her Majesty was quite loud, so I couldn’t help it.  But _His_ Majesty, _he_ —I couldn’t hear a word of what he said.  What was she talking about?  I don’t rightly know, seeing as I wasn’t trying to listen, but there was something about the country recovering from the Blight, and not having the money, and how she couldn’t help him properly if he kept meddling, and hadn’t he said he couldn’t do this without her at his side?  Then I hear her weeping, and he mumbles something I can’t hear, and she says he doesn’t care, doesn’t love her anymore, and I hear something hit the wall and shatter.

And the next time I went in to clean, his little stone warrior was no longer on its shelf.

“It was my fault,” says His Majesty, turning the broken pieces over in his hands.  “I shouldn’t have meddled, shouldn’t have upset her,” and all I could see was Maud crying over the washbasin, though surely— _surely!_ —Her Majesty never laid a hand on him!

And how does one go about disagreeing with a king, anyhow, when he says something like that?  So, I asked him what happened, because that seemed safer, even if my heart was pattering within me.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says.  “I… thought I could do something to help.  Silly, really.  I mean, what do I know, anyhow, aside from five hundred and one ways to kill darkspawn?” He sighs, then, and says, “To be quite honest, I don’t know what Elissa sees in me.”

I take a step back, and every bone of mine is screaming I should just turn and leave, but didn’t His Majesty want someone to talk to?  “I’m sure you can get the statue repaired, your Majesty,” I says.

He sighs at that, and says, “Oh, this?  I suppose, but why bother?  It’s just a silly thing meant for boys, after all.”

“You said Her Majesty gave it to you,” I says.

“She did,” says the king, and a little smile crosses his face.  “Ah, well.  She’s hardly the first person who’s broken something valuable in a fit of anger,” he says, and that’s certainly true.  But I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the same, and that’s why I did it.  That, and Maud, of course.

We never could attend her pyre, you know.  Weren’t allowed out of the alienage, even though in her line of work, half her friends were elves.  Fallan slipped out to watch anyway, and she said we wouldn’t have liked to see how she looked before she was committed to the flames.  It’s probably for the best then—she’s at the Maker’s side, now, and her brute of a man was sent to the quarries for his deeds, and may he rot in the Void for what he’d done to her.

And I couldn’t tell you why, but it was her face in my mind when I gathered the pieces of that figurine from the wastebin and took them home that evening.  Once the children were abed, I mixed a paste and began to go to work.  We elves are very good at fixing broken things, you know.

I had so little time to work on it, what with the palace and the twins, that it was a full month later by the time the figurine was put back together.  At that point, of course, things had blown over at the alienage, and everything was about back to normal.  So I took it in with me on a day when Cara and I were airing out the whole royal wing, and I placed the figurine back on its little shelf tucked away in the corner for His Majesty to find later.

I never did learn if he found it, you know.  It didn’t even take a day for the chatelaine to dismiss me.  When I asked her why, she said it wasn’t for me to know, but Fallan said it was the Queen, that she’d gotten jealous, and wanted to ensure His Majesty wasn’t carrying on with me behind her back.  So I left, and I came here.  I feel right terrible, leaving the twins in Denerim, but they’ll be able to look out for one another, and between the purge and the rumors there was no way I could find another respectable job.  I know the Chantry doesn’t take elves, ma’am, but I just needed to find someplace safe to stay.  I’ve only told you everything because you said you could help me if I did.

Would you be able to?  Help me, ma’am?

Oh, I see.  I wasn’t expecting to have to leave, surely I can’t be in danger, but if that’s the best way for me to get a good position, then I can certainly—

No, I can’t think of anything else to add.  Now, if you don’t mind, Sister… Nightingale, was it?  I could use something to drink after all that talking.  Yes, thank you, ma’am, and Maker bless you for believing me.  I suppose I’ll see you—oh?  You’re leaving  _now_?

Then Maker watch over you, ma’am.

Maker watch over his Majesty as well.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If any of the behaviors described in this fic resonated with you, I encourage you to check out [this article](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm) and the resources and guidance it links to.
> 
>   * If you see someone who needs help, help or direct that person to help. Don’t be a bystander.
>   * If you are in a vulnerable position, there are people who want to help you. Please use whatever resources you can to get to higher ground.
> 

> 
> Together, we are stronger.


End file.
